Ok, so MK has come home from Iraq and things are going well, but sex is kinda boring. I know he has an adjustment to make, but I really thought he would come home and be hot for sex every day. Not the case, he does it when I bring it up. We went 3 days without, bc I wanted to see how long it would take for him to mention it. I ended up doing it anyway bc I wanted it. It isn't that he isn't attracted to me, but I think he just lets it slide. When I bring it up then sure he wants it. I am trying to not be mad, and just joke with him about it some times. Got any ideas what I should do? Should I be the one to always mention it? Also an important note, he has a health condition where he needs to take meds to get a full hard on, so timing is rather important. This is nothing he can help, and he is so young to have this problem.
I want to start experimenting and mixing it up, but his only really "thing" is missionary with me on the bottom. I just kinda lie there while he grinds on me. I will have to say that we have been together off and on for almost 10 years and he has always been this way. If I make him lay on his back and kiss him all over and try other positions he will go along. He just doesn't have creative ideas, and does not perform oral sex. How do I get him to do it? I hate asking for things in bed and think the guy will just do what he is comfortable with. He knows I watch porn, and I tease him bc he can actually read and do other things while porn is on.
I want a long, healthy sex relationship with my husband so can you give me healthy advice? I love him, his body is so sexy, he is attractive and I want to be hot for him, but honestly kinda warm these days. I am thinking about even going to a sex therapist to teach him some things and I may be more open to talking about what I like. He is so romantic and cuddly when out and about, but sex is just not on his mind, or at least that he is telling me.
I wonder if he needs to adjust after serving in Iraq? I am not exactly sure what he has experienced. I would just be as open and honest with him as you can. If you want it then I would just go after what you want even if that is instructing him to perform oral sex. I'm not sure if your relationship is based on D/s or just pure kink interest?
ReplyDeleteHugs,
kitten
Sometimes we, simple men creatures, need help and motivation. ;) Seriously, I think it's more about communication...tell him how you feel before, during, and after. He may like hearing "oh yeah, right there...harder..."
ReplyDeleteA marry/sex adviser is a great idea. But you shouldn't have the frame of mind that you want your husband to be taught sex, but find the reason why he is the way he is. Until you figure that out, things will not change much. You stated he has been this way always, that's why coming back home from Iraq to sex wasn't a big deal for him. My spouse was similar as far as her sex drive. And I went through something like yourself as far as the years.(Longer) I was actually living in a real sexless marriage. I tried taking, giving her books to read, and all I ever got was a small effort to please me when I brought it up. Finally I told her we were going to see a counselor, she said no. I had to leave legal papers laying around to let her know I was serious. After seeing the papers, and knowing I do want I say I'm going to do, she gave in. Love has never been the problem, she has always love me, she just didn't care about sex. Counseling together and on her on, helped change things. But when I stated writing erotic poetry and asked her to proof read it, I could tell she was reading it very closely, because some of the new things she did was from my writings. I can't explain why she connects to my writing, but it did ten times more then all the therapy we went through... Your husband may want to try something new that may benefit both of you. There're new products out that he doesn't have to take and wait for it to work. It also eliminates that four hour window. He should respond as soon as he's stimulated, which can be a reason why he's the way he is, because his body doesn't respond to his mind. That can be very frustrating to us men when it doesn't respond on command. Instead of watching straight porn, you should buy some of those sex education DVD's, or soft porn. (Best sex series) When our sex therapist suggested them, I told her I had the sex educated ones, I just couldn't get her to watch them. The therapist would give us weekly assignments, and watching the Sex Ed. tapes was part of it. I found out my wife didn't like watching porn because she thought I was comparing them to her, especially when we had sex. The sex tapes have every day people in them, so your husband doesn't have to look at some big hunk with a big stick screwing some beautiful babe. And some of them are erotic.. Good luck, just remember, the change will not happen over night...
ReplyDeleteLemme wanna edUmacate you, brudda:
ReplyDeletetrustNjesus, dear.
Meet me Upstairs.
Let's getta Big-Ol beer...
gotta lotta tok bout.
That's awwwsome you're not OPEN.
ReplyDeleteKeep it that way, dear.
If you should decide to become open,
look for a wide variety
of AIDS-like-symptoms to creep-in
taking botha youse quickly down.
Howdya completely bypass that, dear?
Look above.
See Almighty God.
trustNjesus.
ALWAYS.
Get baptized.
Seek to know what RCIA is -
I believe it starts in October.
Exactly what botha youse need.
You, are, gonna, croak, lil one.
Me, too...
as will allah them.
But, yet, with Jesus,
you can AND will live for eternity.
Make Your Choice -SAW
Personally?
I would greatly like to kiss
your feets in the Great Beyond.
Nthn else.
Be your servant
cuzz I love you.
Again, Make Your Choice -SAW
Ever seen SAW?
A horror flik where this dood
goes about trapping people in
his house N then he has some
process to gittm out.
Not so with Jesus.
Botha youse only gotta say
and get down on thy knees,
I BELIEVE. SHOW US THE WAY.
When our soul leaves our body
ReplyDelete(without which nthn can exist)
and we riseabove to meet our Maker,
only four, last things remain:
death, judgement, Heaven or Hell.
And dats d'fak, Jak
(which is exactly what happened to me:
Im an NDE - my colorFULL nomenclature).
Find-out what RCIA is and join
(ya might wanna check-out
'Lui et Moi' by Gabrielle Bossis -
a French writer, translated;
a wonderfull novel which'll
ROCK, YOUR, WORLD, earthling).
Make Your Choice -SAW